If you haven’t read parts 1 and 2 of this 6-part Will This Last series, take a moment to read them here –
Part 1 – Goals and ambitions
Part 2 – Getting along with others
Here in part 3, we dive a little deeper into two topics at the core of most relationship issues – time and money. It’s difficult to see your significant other as ‘significant’ when the lights just got cut off, the car got repossessed, the bank just sent another pink slip and you haven’t had any quality time for months. That might sound extreme but the reality is, many of my counseling sessions are spent working through a variety of issues that all link back to time and money.
If you’re facing issues with time and money in your relationships, consider the following questions when you ask, “Will this last?”
1. Does your significant other believe, “What’s yours is mine?”
How you handle money – how it’s divided, who pays for what, etc. – largely depends on how long you’ve been together. However, there are some common things to consider when it comes to your relationship finances. First, does your significant other believe, “What’s yours is mine,” while also believing, “What’s mine is mine?”
Who picks up the tab and how do you feel about that? What are his spending habits? How does she view saving money? Does he have any limiting beliefs on his ability to make money? Dose she frivolously spend your money but hoard hers?
2. How does your partner spend most of his or her time? Regardless of their work schedule, how does your partner spend the majority of his or her time? Are you the one working hard and making moves while your partner is plopped in from of the TV for hours at a time? If you’re always coming in from getting something done and they’re waiting for you to get there so you can do something for them, that’s guaranteed to get on your already busy nerves.
If he has dreams for the future but isn’t putting in the work in the present, things might not last. If she monopolizes all of your time because she’s not doing much with her own, things might not last very long.
3. How well does your partner balance your quality time?
Let’s agree that there will never be enough time in the day to check off every item on your to-do list. However, does your partner act as if their productivity is better with you in the picture? How well does he or she balance work and quality time with you? If quality time is your love language, your relationship might not last if it’s at a premium.
The balance comes in making time for each other and having space for you both to enjoy some “me time” (alone time). Time apart is important to stay connected with your goals and dreams. Just because “you” became an “us,” doesn’t mean all of your time has to be spent together.
Money and time should be considered treasures in any relationship. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also (Luke 12:34).” Issues with time and money often come down to your position on the priorities list. Do you want to be with someone who treats you as an option and not the priority?