quality relationship

5 Pillars of Relationship Health

Every relationship has its ups and downs. If you've read "Choosing Your Life Partner: 5 Questions To Ask Yourself," then you know that before entering a relationship, there are a few areas to be examined. But why are these areas of life so important? How can they make or break a long-term relationship?

  1. Purpose: Not sure what you and your partner's shared purpose is? Start by making a list of things you want to accomplish as a couple for the greater good. Some examples are charities to support, church missions, community service, art or business projects, etc. Some couples also have success creating a shared bucket list and benchmarks for "relationship success." But don't forget to save time for each of you to experience self-discovery along the way!
  2. Communication: This is essential to a strong life partnership. Problems spiral out of control, emotions get misconstrued and people grow apart when folks don’t feel heard, valued, and respected in conversation. When in doubt, just (actively) listen! 
  3. Personal Development: Working on personal development is a sign that your potential life partner isn’t seeking the easy way out of life. He or she is likely to be more open-minded, communicative and take responsibly for faults. People who challenge their own way of thinking tend to challenge their partners as well. Challenge leads to growth. Refer to #1 to make sure you two grow together and not apart.
  4. Respect: This one is self-explanatory, but I see a lot of disrespect between couples in my office. Sometimes, we take out all of our frustrations with those closest to us - pushing them away over time. Something as simple as respect and gratitude can prevent emotional detachment and all of the problems that come along with that "falling out of love" feeling. 
  5. Intimacy: In marriage, two people are in it for the long haul. Make time for each other. Be a non-judging soundboard for your life partner. Be spontaneous and not just in the bedroom. Leave thoughtful notes for each other or verbalize how much you adore your partner - whatever works for them and usually they will return the favor.

Every relationship is different. Think about the status of each of these pillars in your relationship. How do they stack up to your expectations or goals? Discuss this with your partner or take action to initiate. If you need help in getting the conversation started, schedule a call with Art for advice.