“Can I make my partner more romantic?” The key thing to remember is that romance doesn’t just happen. It needs to be planned and intentional. You can’t make someone become more romantic, but there are steps you can take to bring the romance out of your significant other.
1. Take the lead. Be more romantic yourself.
Write a list of five (5) things you can do that your partner will see as romantic. Things like:
- Cooking a favorite meal or lunch;
Getting the car gassed up or detailed;
Picking up the clothes from the cleaners;
Cleaning the house;
A small ‘no special occasion’ gift;
Flowers on a special day, i.e.: the 4th of the month because that’s the first time I saw you.
Try to knock out an item on your romantic to-do list every 2 or 3 weeks. You select the time interval, but don’t count on remembering. Put it on the calendar. [Related: Is Our Marriage Worth Saving]
2. Don’t Worry About A Return On Your Efforts.
“Why should I do anything at all? It’s not like they’re doing anything!” Try not to keep track of who does what in the relationship. It can sour the mood for both of you. Learn to enjoy giving just as much as receiving. Sometimes, you may end up receiving more than you gave - and when you do, it will be a pleasant surprise!
3. Catch your ‘Significant Other’ (SO) Doing Something Right.
Most of the time, we look for what went wrong in life and totally miss what went right. I have been so guilty of this. One of my daughters got all A’s and B’s and I focused more on the one C that showed up. It took me awhile to learn that if I make a big deal about the A’s and B’s, I’m more likely to see more of them.
The same is true of our relationships. If we concentrate on what’s going right and even comment on what’s going right, our S.O. is very likely to give us more on which to comment. Remember, those comments make for more romance. Make it your habit to catch your SO doing at least one thing right each and every day!
4. Laugh as often as possible.
When I began studying relationships, I found women who kept saying, “The thing I like about him is that he makes me laugh.” People like having fun and if you’re the source of that fun, they’ll like to be around you.
What does that have to do with romance? Really…..who wants to be romantic with someone who is just not fun? Laugh as much as you possibly can and you’ll soon find your S.O. being more romantic than you can stand.
And Finally …
5. Be intentionally nice.
I have a friend who dotes on his wife constantly. She doesn’t do everything the way he wants her to all the time but he’d cross flooded rivers for her. Why does he act that way? That’s easy. She is so sweet she could drive you into a sugar coma. When he’s nice, she’s nice. When he’s not so nice, she’s still nice.
Remember … Helping your S.O. to be more romantic doesn’t just happen by accident. It needs to be planned and intentional. Don’t leave your romance to chance. Chances are it will just get lost in all that daily activity. Instead, take these intentional actions and watch your partner get more and more romantic. Want coaching or additional support? Schedule a FREE consultation.